What do birth partners really think about hypnobirthing?
So many partners I meet write hypnobirthing off as ‘hippie-nonsense’ and are somewhat skeptical, to say the least. They often come to classes out of ‘duty’ rather than any real desire to see what hypnobirthing is all about.
Read how Josh went from thinking hypnobirthing was all about chakras, salt lamps and snake oil, to realising that instead it gave him a very real understanding of his role in the birth experience. No snake oil insight!
Hypnobirthing – A Dad’s Perspective
Growing up I always wanted to be an active, present and involved husband and soon-to-be father during the birth of my child. I was (and continue to be) challenged by the purported ‘grossness’ and perceived ‘womens business’ associated with your significant other bringing your offspring into the world. For me it is essentially at the core of what we are biologically on this planet to do and I can think of nothing more rewarding, amazing and honestly fascinating than being part of this process. The challenge I faced was how I could be part of it all while still maintaining some modicum of control and presence when realistically, from an anatomical perspective at least, I am totally and utterly useless!
My wife and I had always discussed having a ‘birth plan’ and we made sure we attended the hospital prep classes and tours etc etc…. so I felt pretty ok about the whole thing and figured I would just hang out in the birthing suite with her offering encouragement, something to punch and generally being an errand boy as required. As such, I was beyond skeptical when my wife raised the topic of some hippy ethereal sounding concept called ‘hypnobirthing’… I assured myself this was just some kind of pregnant hormonal craziness (cue gaslighting) and approached things as respectfully (yet skeptically) as possible… not to mention the dollars associated with paying for such a thing at a time when you are starting to get sweaty about going down to one income etc etc…
Out of respect (and probably some guilt given the physical ordeal my wife was about to go though), I agreed to sign up for the private hypnobirthing session with Kate coming to our house for a few hours each week to run us through things. Whilst not immediate, by the end of the first session I was starting to feel more comfortable with discussions relating to actual ‘sciency’ stuff rather than it being all chakras, moonstones and himalayan salt lamps drizzled in snake oil.
Once I started listening I realised the process was about me being present… really present… and supporting my wife emotionally and practically and really being apart of the birthing process. I had defined tasks and roles to fulfill and subsequently I was never bored or left feeling helpless. While I wouldn’t quite go so far as to say ‘we’ gave birth, I can confidently say that I was present and I did have a role to play. When our little girl appeared looking more like an alien than a human and gave her first otherworldly trill I definitely felt a sense of accomplishment.
Would I have still felt a sense of accomplishment if I hadn’t done hypnobirthing training? In all honesty, probably. But words can’t convey how much of a team effort and how united I felt with my wife through the whole process. We were on the same page, we were aligned, we were together and for most of it I don’t remember anyone or anything else being present. It was just me and her, her and me. We entered the hospital with a clear goal in mind which gave us confidence and excitement and we left the hospital closer than ever as a tight knit family unit of three.
What a beautiful way to bring a child into the world. United in love with a singular goal to meet our baby and show her from the outset of her life how two people in love can achieve greatness when they work as one.”